Visiting My Mom
When I close my eyes I can still see you. In my dreams you're alive and full of life. It hurts that near the end we were so estranged and that we never got to really know each other.
I see you in my dreams and it makes me happy. All my dreams about you are me doing almost pointless things, like ordering food at a restaurant, and you appear. You're full of joy and enthusiasm. Once you spot me you smile from ear to ear and rush to hug me. You interrupt what random task I'm doing and we share both the light and the heavy things in our hearts. We can finally just sit and talk.
In my dreams I goto heaven in my mind and I see you Mom. You're always the same age when I see you, the same age you were when I ran away, oddly the same age I am now. I might only be dreaming, yet in my dreams when I see you and Papa it brings me great comfort. It's as if you're helping me through a storm like a patron saint. If it is you reaching me, thank you. And if it is just my psyche helping me to metabolize my pain, I'm fine with that too. I love you Mommy and can't wait to see you even if in my dreams again.