The Psychology of Animated Characters – Part 6: Henchmen to Villains
Why These Poor Fools Signed Up for a Job With Zero Benefits
Alright.
We’ve talked about heroes, villains, anti-heroes, and sidekicks.
But today?
Today, we talk about the REAL victims of every animated story—the henchmen.
These are the underpaid, overworked, completely disposable employees of every cartoon villain.
• They get zero benefits.
• They get yelled at constantly.
• They get punched, blasted, or launched into the sun on a weekly basis.
And yet…
They stay.
So today, we’re breaking down the psychological profiles of animated henchmen and figuring out why they’re so dedicated to the absolute worst job in history.
Oh, and before we start…
🔥 Subscribe to my YouTube channel, or I will personally hire you as my henchman with no pay, no healthcare, and a high chance of explosion. 🔥
⸻
1. The “I’m Only Here for the Paycheck” Henchman – “This Is Just a 9-to-5, Bro”
Examples:
• Stormtroopers (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, also counts as animation) – Can’t aim, can’t fight, still show up for work every day.
• Team Rocket (Pokémon: The Animated Series) – Fails EVERY TIME, but refuses to quit.
• Shenzi, Banzai & Ed (The Lion King) – Just some hyenas trying to get free food, honestly.
These henchmen are not loyal.
They are just here for the steady paycheck.
The problem?
Their bosses are literally insane.
• Stormtroopers? No insurance, no armor that works, still show up for work.
• Team Rocket? Losers, broke, still somehow funding giant mechs.
• Hyenas? Just wanted food, ended up in a lion coup.
They aren’t evil.
They aren’t ambitious.
They are just clocking in and out, hoping to survive.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Massive workplace dissatisfaction
• Should have quit years ago
• Would rather get thrown off a cliff than go job hunting
Honestly?
If I had to be a henchman, I’d pick Team Rocket.
Because at least they get cool outfits.
⸻
2. The “I Chose the Wrong Career” Henchman – “I Was Promised Job Security”
Examples:
• Beagle Boys (DuckTales) – Have been trying to rob the same vault for 40 years.
• Cogs (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) – Literal business robots who turned to crime. Relatable.
• Kronk (The Emperor’s New Groove) – Got stuck with the dumbest villain in history. He deserved better.
These guys could’ve done ANYTHING ELSE with their lives.
But instead?
They chose villainy.
And now, they’re just trying to make it work.
• Beagle Boys? Spending their entire lives failing to rob ONE duck.
• Cogs? Just wanted a promotion, ended up in toon-based warfare.
• Kronk? Too good-hearted to be a villain, too clueless to realize he could leave.
These henchmen don’t need to be stopped.
They need a career change.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Severe job dissatisfaction
• Overqualified but stuck in a bad position
• Too deep into the job to quit now
Honestly?
If I had to pick, I’d want Kronk’s job.
Because at least he gets to cook.
⸻
3. The “I’m 100% Here for the Drama” Henchman – “This Job Is a Reality Show, and I Love It”
Examples:
• Iago (Aladdin: The Animated Series) – Spent years working for a villain, then just switched sides because he felt like it.
• LeFou (Beauty and the Beast) – Way too emotionally invested in his boss.
• Dr. Drakken’s Henchmen (Kim Possible) – If they had a podcast, I would listen to it.
These guys could quit at any time.
But do they?
NO.
Because deep down, they love the chaos.
• Iago? Didn’t need to work for Jafar, just liked the drama.
• LeFou? Was basically Gaston’s unpaid hype man.
• Drakken’s henchmen? Probably had bets on how badly his plans would fail.
These characters don’t need better pay.
They just need popcorn, because they are enjoying the disaster.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Emotionally attached to a bad boss
• Secretly here for the entertainment
• Would absolutely sell a tell-all book after leaving
Honestly?
If I had to be a henchman, I’d want Iago’s gig.
Because at least he gets a redemption arc.
⸻
4. The “I’m Actually a Supervillain in Training” Henchman – “One Day, I Will Be the Boss”
Examples:
• Starscream (Transformers: The Animated Series) – Has been trying to kill Megatron for decades.
• Dr. Facilier’s Shadow (The Princess and the Frog) – Doing all the dirty work while the boss takes the credit.
• Shego (Kim Possible) – Smarter, cooler, and better than her boss in every way.
These aren’t just henchmen.
They are future villains.
And their entire personality is just:
1️⃣ Pretending to be loyal.
2️⃣ Waiting for their boss to fail.
3️⃣ Planning a dramatic betrayal.
And honestly?
That’s a power move.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Overqualified and knows it
• Secretly running the whole operation
• Will absolutely stab their boss in the back when the time is right
Honestly?
If I had to be a henchman, I’d want Shego’s job.
Because at least she looks cool doing it.
⸻
Final Thoughts: Henchmen Deserve Better (But They’ll Never Get It)
At the end of the day, henchmen are just unpaid interns with extra steps.
• They get no respect.
• They get no benefits.
• And they almost always get wrecked by the hero.
And honestly?
They should unionize.
Because if I was getting punched in the face every day, I’d at least want dental coverage.
