The Psychology of Animated Characters – Part 8: Why Woke Character Remakes Are Awful and Undermine Inclusion
Or: If You Ask What “Representation” Means, You’re a Bad Person
Alright, folks.
It’s time to strap in and cancel your future nostalgia, because Hollywood is coming for it.
We’re talking about woke character remakes.
You know, those brave corporate decisions to take a perfectly fine character, change one surface-level trait, and then pat themselves on the back like they just ended world hunger.
🔥 “Diversity and Inclusion achieved! We did it, everyone!” 🔥
Did you, though?
Or did you just swap out one checkbox for another while the scriptwriters fell asleep on their keyboards?
Now, before you start drafting that angry tweet, YES—I love great representation.
YES—diverse stories matter.
YES—inclusion is awesome.
But you know what isn’t awesome?
When a corporate boardroom decides that changing a character’s gender, race, or sexuality is a substitute for ACTUALLY WRITING A GOOD STORY.
So today, we’re diving into:
✅ Why no one actually knows what “representation” means.
✅ How diversity checklists are the worst possible way to write a character.
✅ Why criticizing fantasy for being “unrealistic” is nonsense.
✅ How I, personally, will never look like Superman, and that’s a CRIME.
Oh, and before we begin…
🔥 Subscribe to my YouTube channel, or I WILL reboot your favorite childhood cartoon into a soulless, TikTok-ified corporate disaster. 🔥
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1. What Even Is “Representation?” No One Knows.
Every time a woke remake flops, some Hollywood executive crawls out of their villain lair to scold us:
“This was important representation! If you don’t like it, you’re a bad person!”
And every time, I have one simple question:
❓ Representation of WHAT? ❓
Because no one seems to agree.
• Is it seeing people who look like you?
• Is it seeing characters with the same struggles as you?
• Is it seeing a dragon in Game of Thrones complain about the gender pay gap?
WHO KNOWS.
Because if representation actually meant “realism,” then where are:
✅ The dad-bod superheroes who get winded after one flight of stairs?
✅ The mom-jeans-wearing crime-fighters who are just trying to get through a Tuesday?
✅ The geeky, front-butted nerds who actually look like the people watching the show?
Oh, that’s right—
That’s not “aspirational.”
Because, apparently, we only need representation when it looks cool.
And that’s why every “relatable” hero still looks like they bench-press planets before breakfast.
And honestly?
I feel personally attacked.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Confused by what representation actually means.
• Not ripped enough to be in a Marvel movie.
• Wants a superhero who has my exact body type, thanks.
Honestly?
If I ever get a superhero movie, I better get a realistic dad bod suit.
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2. Fantasy Is Not Realistic, and That’s the Whole Point
Every few months, someone on the internet decides to get mad about a fantasy story because it’s not realistic.
And I have to remind them that it’s called “FANTASY” for a reason.
🔥 IT’S A CARTOON. 🔥
• Why do you care about historical accuracy in a world where dragons exist?
• Why are we debating realism in a franchise where a talking sponge wears pants?
• Why are people saying, “This character would never do that!” when the character is a literal fish?
Fantasy is our escape.
It’s not supposed to reflect real life.
Because if it did, we’d all be watching:
✅ Middle-Aged Man Tries to Get Health Insurance: The Series
✅ Woman Fills Out Spreadsheets and Cries: The Animated Musical
✅ Superheroes, but Everyone Has Back Pain and Goes to Bed by 9 PM
NOBODY WANTS THAT.
And yet, every few months, some Hollywood executive decides to make a story “more grounded.”
And guess what happens?
IT BECOMES BORING.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Overthinking cartoons way too much.
• Knows that realism ruins fantasy but keeps watching train wrecks anyway.
• Wants more ridiculous, over-the-top nonsense in media.
Honestly?
If I ever have to sit through one more gritty reboot of a fun story, I’m snapping.
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3. Diversity Checklists Are the Narrative Equivalent of Throwing Every Ingredient in the Fridge into a Blender
Alright, let’s talk about corporate diversity.
Because at some point, Hollywood decided that representation means every single demographic must be in the same story at the same time NO MATTER WHAT.
So instead of telling a good story, they just:
✅ Cram every identity into the same five characters.
✅ Make sure each one has one (1) personality trait.
✅ Declare victory over racism, sexism, and homophobia.
The problem?
IT FEELS LIKE A CHECKLIST.
• We need a strong female lead! (But she’s not allowed to have flaws.)
• We need an LGBTQ+ character! (But they only get three lines of dialogue.)
• We need a disabled character! (But we don’t actually give them a real story.)
Instead of feeling real, it feels like Hollywood is just covering its bases.
And the result?
Characters with no depth, no personality, and no reason to exist except for marketing.
It’s like throwing every ingredient in your fridge into a blender and expecting it to taste good.
NO.
YOU NEED A RECIPE.
Psychological Diagnosis:
• Has seen too many lazy diversity attempts.
• Just wants GOOD characters, not corporate checklists.
• Is now afraid to open the fridge because I might get hit with another reboot.
Honestly?
If I ever see one more soulless corporate “diverse” remake, I’m switching to Amish cartoons.
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Final Thoughts: Stop Treating Representation Like a Gimmick.
At the end of the day, representation should be about GOOD storytelling.
Not marketing strategies.
Not checklists.
Not half-baked reboots that nobody asked for.
Because when diversity is done WELL, you get:
✅ Miles Morales (A NEW, amazing Spider-Man)
✅ Tiana (A princess with her own story and culture)
✅ Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Diverse, fun, and ORIGINAL)
And when it’s done poorly?
You get corporate-approved nonsense with no heart.
